The Ethics of Interpersonal Relationships

Ethical behavior is a tricky thing to define: usually we think of it as doing what is “right.” My profession of psychology has both a well-defined, specific ethics code, as well as aspirational principles for behavior— your basic “Do No Harm” playbook. Yet even with this code and these guidelines, many psychologists often fail to act ethically toward their patients. And on an even broader scale, we all treat people whose selves and closest interpersonal relationships have been damaged by affairs, abuse, neglect, and violence: in short, unethical behavior. Firestone—a respected psychologist himself—and Catlett set out to explain why behaving ethically is such a struggle, on many levels: between individuals, in families, in communities, in businesses, and between nations and religious groups. On reading the introduction, one is struck by the impossible scope of the task. It seems at first as if the authors are overly ambitious, setting out to solve all the problems of the world (the destructive behavior of humans toward each other and the planet) with their explanation and corrective prescriptions. With this skepticism in mind, the reader may continue on to the first few chapters, which outline the basis for the book: the authors’ own experiences in a lifelong group of friends, which evolved through constant group self-examination and insight into an apparently highly functioning, nurturing collective of members. The theme of optimism emerges here, with the authors sometimes veering into truisms: “people’s problems in relating to one another and unethical behaviors in interpersonal relationships can be understood and transformed through dedication and understanding.” Thankfully, however, the authors don’t rest here. As the chapters progress, more and more connections are made between individual traits necessary for ethical living and community and global benefit. These themes are illustrated both by personal observation of the “friendship circle” and—appeasing those sticklers among us who prefer it—by sound psychological research. It is in the middle few chapters of the book where the authors really hit their stride and are the most persuasive about their arguments. Here they delve into several sticky psychological themes and successfully demonstrate the impact of these on ethical behavior large and small. In the chapter titled “Mastering Anger,” they show that aggression, for instance, is a response to frustration and shame, rather than an innate human propensity. In perhaps the most elegant theme in the book, the authors illuminate how intergenerational transmission of maladaptive beliefs and behaviors perpetuates a cycle of unethical patterns of relating. Bioethical Inquiry (2011) 8:301–302 DOI 10.1007/s11673-011-9308-0