Online infidelity in Internet chat rooms: an ethnographic exploration

Abstract Internet chat rooms have introduced unprecedented dynamics into marital relationships: never in history has it been so easy to enjoy both the stability of marriage and the thrills of the dating scene at the same time. This study examined the phenomenon of online infidelity in chat rooms, a process whereby individuals involved in a long-term committed relationship seek computer synchronous, interactive contact with opposite-sex members. The following factors were investigated: (a) what elements and dynamics online infidelity involves and how it happens; (b) what leads individuals specifically to the computer to search for a relationship “on the side”; (c) whether individuals consider online contacts as infidelity and why or why not; and (e) what dynamics chat room users experience in their marriages. The results revealed three theoretical constructs that represent married individuals’ chat room experiences. The first construct, Anonymous Sexual Interactionism, refers to these individuals’ predilection for anonymous interactions of a sexual nature in chat rooms. The allure of anonymity gains extra importance for married individuals, who can enjoy relative safety to express fantasies and desires without being known or exposed. The second, Behavioral Rationalization, denotes the reasoning that chat room users present for conceiving their online behaviors’ as innocent and harmless (despite the secrecy and highly sexual nature). The third, Effortless Avoidance, involves chat room users’ avoidance of psychological discomfort by exchanging sexual messages with strangers. Happily married individuals also join such rooms, a trend that is also discussed. Together, these constructs symbolize chat room dynamics and serve as a foundation upon which further studies can build.

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