Voices of the Mind

Very little research has examined what goes on in the minds of young men during sex. Such an exploration might reveal gender-normative discourses as well as challenges to such. This discourse analysis understands internal speech as that which both instantiates status quo ideals of masculinity and which challenges them. We use theories of hegemonic masculinity and Vygotskyan notions of “others in the head” to understand how hegemonic masculinity is reproduced during the act of having sex. This study is based on qualitative interviews with thirteen heterosexual young adult US men asking what goes through their mind during sex. Young heterosexual men produce a masculinity discourse that supports dominant constructions of heterosexuality, monitoring their sexual behaviors based on imagined and expected reactions of abstract and very real male reference groups. The analysis shows men describing thoughts during sex that make sex like work, keeps in mind a variety of other people, some literally awaiting news of the sex, and some abstract representations of masculinity. Men report a constant self-evaluation based on women’s performances of pleasure, for example, screaming, never construed as inauthentic, or as a performance at all. Thoughts about masculinity were not present in intimate moments when men described a “letting go of masculinity” in order to be intimate.

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