Opposite sides of the same coin: Former spouses' divergent perspectives in coping with their divorce.

The extent to which people are assisted in their adjustment to divorce by their tendency to appraise the breakup in a biased, ego-enhancing fashion was investigated. Comparisons of the perceptions of 90 ex-spouses (45 couples) revealed that (a) ex-spouses did not differ in their positive self-perceptions nor in their negative perceptions of each other; (b) Ss rated themselves more positively along dimensions of responsibility for the breakup, villain/victim status, and desire to reconcile than they were rated by their ex-partner; (c) both partners agreed that the women were more likely to have had control over the separation process than the men; and (d) wives' views of their ex-husband tended to correlate with the men's self-perceptions; men's and women's views of the wives were unrelated. The greater the control over the breakup attributed to one's ex-spouse, the lower one's level of psychosocial adjustment and resolution of the breakup. The article discusses how distorting perceptions of ego-threatening situations may facilitate adjustment to and maintenance of change.

[1]  B. Bloom,et al.  Marital disruption as a stressor: a review and analysis. , 1978, Psychological bulletin.

[2]  N. Jacobson,et al.  Causal attributions of married couples: when do they search for causes? What do they conclude when they do? , 1985, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[3]  M. Ross,et al.  The Relation between Current Impressions and Memories of Self and Dating Partners , 1987 .

[4]  F D Fincham,et al.  Attributions in marriage: review and critique. , 1990, Psychological bulletin.

[5]  Shelley E. Taylor,et al.  Illusion and well-being: a social psychological perspective on mental health. , 1988, Psychological bulletin.

[6]  C. A. Porter,et al.  Self‐Blame in Victims of Violence , 1983 .

[7]  R. Weiss.  The Emotional Impact of Marital Separation , 1976 .

[8]  D. Chiriboga,et al.  Significance of time in adjustment to marital separation. , 1988, The American journal of orthopsychiatry.

[9]  Margaret E. Madden,et al.  Blame, control, and marital satisfaction: Wives' attributions for conflict in marriage. , 1981 .

[10]  C. Ross,et al.  Control or defense? Depression and the sense of control over good and bad outcomes. , 1990, Journal of health and social behavior.

[11]  S. Folkman,et al.  Stress, appraisal, and coping , 1974 .

[12]  T. Stephen.  Attribution and Adjustment to Relationship Termination , 1987 .

[13]  L. Wheeler,et al.  Review of personality and social psychology , 1980 .

[14]  R. C. Silver,et al.  Coping with an Abusive Relationship: I. How and Why Do Women Stay?. , 1991 .

[15]  H. Cantril,et al.  They saw a game: a case study. , 2011, Journal of abnormal psychology.

[16]  Daphne M. Scarr.  The Divorce Experience , 1978 .

[17]  J. Harvey,et al.  New Directions in Attribution Research , 2018 .

[18]  G. Fletcher.  The Analysis of Verbal Explanations for Marital Separation: Implications for Attribution Theory1 , 1983 .

[19]  M. Stones,et al.  Searching for Meaning in Misfortune: Making Sense of Incest , 1983 .

[20]  R. Manela,et al.  Attachment and Distress Following Marital Separation , 1980 .

[21]  Kelly G. Shaver,et al.  On causality, responsibility, and self-blame: a theoretical note. , 1986, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[22]  L. Derogatis,et al.  The Brief Symptom Inventory: an introductory report , 1983, Psychological Medicine.

[23]  F. Fincham,et al.  Attribution processes in distressed and nondistressed couples: 4. Self-partner attribution differences. , 1987, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[24]  Letitia Anne Peplau,et al.  Loving and leaving: Sex differences in romantic attachments , 1981 .

[25]  M. Ross,et al.  Egocentric Biases in Availability and Attribution , 1979 .

[26]  G. Spanier,et al.  Parting: The Aftermath of Separation and Divorce , 1984 .

[27]  S. Thompson.  Will it hurt less if i can control it? A complex answer to a simple question. , 1981 .

[28]  K. Shaver,et al.  On causality, responsibility, and self-blame: a theoretical note. , 1986, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[29]  B. Philip,et al.  Models of Helping and Coping. , 1982 .

[30]  J. Weisz,et al.  Changing the world and changing the self: A two-process model of perceived control. , 1982 .

[31]  G. Spanier,et al.  Adjustment to separation and divorce: An analysis of 50 case studies. , 1979 .

[32]  G. Levinger,et al.  A social psychological perspective on marital dissolution. , 1976 .

[33]  R. Baumeister.  The Optimal Margin of Illusion , 1989 .

[34]  W. J. Goode.  Women in Divorce. , 1978 .

[35]  R. Janoff-Bulman,et al.  Characterological Versus Behavioral Self-Blame: Inquiries Into Depression and Rape , 1979 .

[36]  R. Janoff-Bulman.  Characterological versus behavioral self-blame: inquiries into depression and rape. , 1979, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[37]  M. Rosenberg.  Society and the adolescent self-image , 1966 .

[38]  Letitia Anne Peplau,et al.  Breakups Before Marriage: The End of 103 Affairs , 1976 .

[39]  J. Harvey,et al.  The nature and motivations of accounts for failed relationships. , 1987 .

[40]  W. Berman,et al.  The role of attachment in the post-divorce experience. , 1988, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[41]  R. C. Silver,et al.  The myths of coping with loss. , 1989, Journal of consulting and clinical psychology.

[42]  D. J. Lee.  Society and the Adolescent Self-Image , 1969 .

[43]  R. Larsen,et al.  The Satisfaction with Life Scale , 1985, Journal of personality assessment.

[44]  M. Ross.  Relation of Implicit Theories to the Construction of Personal Histories , 1989 .

[45]  L. Ross,et al.  Human Inference: Strategies and Shortcomings of Social Judgment. , 1981 .

[46]  B. Bloom,et al.  Whose Decision Was It? The Effects of Initiator Status on Adjustment to Marital Disruption. , 1984 .

[47]  S. Duck,et al.  Dissolving personal relationships , 1982 .

[48]  D. Chiriboga,et al.  Psychological Well-Being during Marital Separation , 1978 .

[49]  Michael Ross,et al.  Impact of causal attributions on affective reactions to success and failure. , 1982 .

[50]  D. Turk,et al.  Adaptation to Divorce: Problems and Coping Strategies. , 1981 .

[51]  J. N. Edwards,et al.  Coming Apart: A Model of the Marital Dissolution Decision. , 1981 .

[52]  E. Langer,et al.  Post-divorce adaptation and the attribution of responsibility , 1981 .

[53]  Shelley E. Taylor.  Adjustment to threatening events: A theory of cognitive adaptation. , 1983 .

[54]  C. Wortman,et al.  Attributions of blame and coping in the "real world": severe accident victims react to their lot. , 1977, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[55]  M. Seligman,et al.  Human Helplessness: Theory and Applications , 1980 .

[56]  G. A. Miller,et al.  Book Review Nisbett, R. , & Ross, L.Human inference: Strategies and shortcomings of social judgment.Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice-Hall, 1980. , 1982 .

[57]  S. Duck,et al.  The Emerging Field of Personal Relationships , 1986 .

[58]  H. Reinherz,et al.  Marital Disruption , 1984 .