Fostering partner dependence as trust insurance: the implicit contingencies of the exchange script in close relationships.

A model of the trust-insurance system is proposed to examine how people with low and high self-esteem cope with the interdependence dilemma posed by feeling inferior to a romantic partner. Feeling inferior automatically activates "if-then" contingencies that link inferiority to the exchange script (i.e., partner qualities are evenly traded) and exchange script anxieties to reparative efforts to secure a partner's dependence. A daily diary study of newlyweds and 5 experiments supported the model. Induced upward social comparisons to the partner activated exchange anxieties for low, but not high, self-esteem people. When implicitly primed, the exchange script heightened worries about being inferior and motivated behavioral efforts to increase the partner's dependence regardless of self-esteem. When consciously deliberated, the exchange script elicited dependence promotion only for low self-esteem people.

[1]  Paul A. M. Van Lange,et al.  An Atlas of Interpersonal Situations: Contents , 2003 .

[2]  Russell H. Fazio,et al.  Attitudes and cognitive consistency: The role of associative and propositional processes , 2008 .

[3]  Steven L. Neuberg,et al.  A Continuum of Impression Formation, from Category-Based to Individuating Processes: Influences of Information and Motivation on Attention and Interpretation , 1990 .

[4]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  The Exchange Process in Close Relationships , 1981 .

[5]  Miranda R. Goode,et al.  The Psychological Consequences of Money , 2006, Science.

[6]  S. Beach,et al.  When does performance feedback prompt complementarity in romantic relationships , 2001 .

[7]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  When rejection stings: how self-esteem constrains relationship-enhancement processes. , 2002, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[8]  J. Bowlby Attachment and loss: retrospect and prospect. , 1982, The American journal of orthopsychiatry.

[9]  Mark Attridge,et al.  Predicting relationship stability from both partners versus one. , 1995 .

[10]  John Tooby,et al.  Friendship and the Banker's Paradox: Other Pathways to the Evolution of Adaptations for Altruism , 1996 .

[11]  Shelly L. Gable,et al.  Giving up and giving in: the costs and benefits of daily sacrifice in intimate relationships. , 2005, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[12]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  The Mismeasure of Love: How Self-Doubt Contaminates Relationship Beliefs , 2001 .

[13]  S. Raudenbush,et al.  Gender and the relationship between job experiences and psychological distress: a study of dual-earner couples. , 1993, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[14]  C. Neil Macrae,et al.  HELP, I NEED SOMEBODY: AUTOMATIC ACTION AND INACTION , 1998 .

[15]  M. Zanna,et al.  Effects of salience of extrinsic rewards on liking and loving. , 1980 .

[16]  P. Gilbert Social Mentalities: A Biopsychosocial and Evolutionary Approach to Social Relationships. , 2005 .

[17]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  Trust in close relationships. , 1985 .

[18]  M. Lerner,et al.  The Justice Motive in Social Behavior , 1981 .

[19]  Jeffry A. Simpson,et al.  The Dissolution of Romantic Relationships: Factors Involved in Relationship Stability and Emotional Distress , 1987 .

[20]  J. Bargh The four horsemen of automaticity: Awareness, intention, efficiency, and control in social cognition. , 1994 .

[21]  Mauricio Carvallo,et al.  A friend is a present you give to your “Self”: Avoidance of intimacy moderates the effects of friends on self-liking , 2008 .

[22]  P. Lockwood,et al.  Feeling better about doing worse: social comparisons within romantic relationships. , 2004, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[23]  M. Clark,et al.  Measurement of communal strength , 2004 .

[24]  S. Raudenbush,et al.  Change in job and marital experiences and change in psychological distress: a longitudinal study of dual-earner couples. , 1995, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[25]  L. Ross,et al.  Subjective Construal, Social Inference, and Human Misunderstanding , 1991 .

[26]  G. Levinger,et al.  A social psychological perspective on marital dissolution. , 1976 .

[27]  G. Downey,et al.  The self-fulfilling prophecy in close relationships: rejection sensitivity and rejection by romantic partners. , 1998, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[28]  C. Rusbult,et al.  Commitment, pro-relationship behavior, and trust in close relationships. , 1999, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[29]  Hart Blanton,et al.  From seeing to being: subliminal social comparisons affect implicit and explicit self-evaluations. , 2004, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[30]  Perceiving unfairness in the family: cause or consequence of marital distress? , 2001 .

[31]  A. Tellegen,et al.  Is human mating adventitious or the result of lawful choice? A twin study of mate selection. , 1993, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[32]  B. J. Winer Statistical Principles in Experimental Design , 1992 .

[33]  J. Traupmann,et al.  Equity: Theory and Research , 1978 .

[34]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  Social acceptance and self-esteem: tuning the sociometer to interpersonal value. , 2007, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[35]  C. Sedikides,et al.  When do individuals help close others improve? The role of information diagnosticity. , 2001, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[36]  G. William Walster,et al.  Physical attractiveness and dating choice: A test of the matching hypothesis☆ , 1971 .

[37]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  Optimizing assurance: the risk regulation system in relationships. , 2006, Psychological bulletin.

[38]  C. Rusbult,et al.  Should I stay or should I go? A dependence model of breakups. , 1992 .

[39]  T. K. Srull,et al.  Handbook of Social Cognition , 1993 .

[40]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  Felt Security as a Normative Resource: Evidence for an Elemental Risk Regulation System? , 2007 .

[41]  A. Aron,et al.  Close Relationships as Including Other in the Self , 1991 .

[42]  Jaye L. Derrick,et al.  Enhancing relationship perceptions by reducing felt inferiority: The role of attachment style , 2007 .

[43]  J. D. Campbell,et al.  Self-esteem and clarity of the self-concept. , 1990, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[44]  G. L. White,et al.  Physical attractiveness and courtship progress. , 1980 .

[45]  J. Simpson,et al.  The evolution of human mating: Trade-offs and strategic pluralism , 2000, Behavioral and Brain Sciences.

[46]  K. Vohs,et al.  Case Western Reserve University , 1990 .

[47]  G. Fletcher,et al.  Regulation processes in intimate relationships: the role of ideal standards. , 2006, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[48]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  The benefits of positive illusions: Idealization and the construction of satisfaction in close relationships. , 1996 .

[49]  R. Baumeister,et al.  The nature and function of self-esteem: Sociometer theory , 2000 .

[50]  Dan Ariely,et al.  Selective Versus Unselective Romantic Desire: Not All Reciprocity Is Created Equal , 2007, Psychological science.

[51]  D. Buss,et al.  Preferences in human mate selection. , 1986 .

[52]  Katelyn Y. A. McKenna,et al.  Beyond Behaviorism : On the Automaticity of Higher Mental Processes , 2001 .

[53]  T. Bradbury,et al.  Attachment change processes in the early years of marriage. , 1999, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[54]  Phillip R. Shaver,et al.  The Attachment Behavioral System in Adulthood: Activation, Psychodynamics, and Interpersonal Processes. , 2003 .

[55]  H. Kelley Personal Relationships: Their Structures and Processes , 1979 .

[56]  Michael A. Olson,et al.  Implicit and Explicit Measures of Attitudes: The Perspective of the MODE Model , 2009 .

[57]  R. Baumeister,et al.  Self-regulation and depletion of limited resources: does self-control resemble a muscle? , 2000, Psychological bulletin.

[58]  Z. Rubin Liking and Loving: An Invitation to Social Psychology , 1973 .

[59]  John M. Martz,et al.  The Investment Model Scale: Measuring commitment level, satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size , 1998 .

[60]  E. Berscheid,et al.  The Psychology of Interpersonal Relationships , 2004 .

[61]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  Through the looking glass darkly? When self-doubts turn into relationship insecurities. , 1998, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[62]  Debra Mashek,et al.  Handbook of closeness and intimacy , 2004 .

[63]  Mauricio Carvallo,et al.  How I See Me Depends on How I See We: The Role of Attachment Style in Social Comparison , 2005, Personality & social psychology bulletin.

[64]  Daniel T. Gilbert,et al.  Thinking lightly about others: Automatic components of the social inference process. , 1989 .

[65]  H. Kelley,et al.  The social psychology of groups , 1960 .

[66]  A. Feingold Matching for attractiveness in romantic partners and same-sex friends: A meta-analysis and theoretical critique. , 1988 .

[67]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  Balancing connectedness and self-protection goals in close relationships: a levels-of-processing perspective on risk regulation. , 2008, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[68]  M. Rosenberg Society and the adolescent self-image , 1966 .

[69]  Joop J. Hox,et al.  Applied Multilevel Analysis. , 1995 .

[70]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  Self-esteem and the quest for felt security: how perceived regard regulates attachment processes. , 2000, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[71]  Willard Waller,et al.  The family : a dynamic interpretation , 1951 .

[72]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  The Commitment‐Insurance System: Self‐Esteem and the Regulation of Connection in Close Relationships , 2008 .

[73]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  Perceived Partner Responsiveness as an Organizing Construct in the Study of Intimacy and Closeness , 2004 .

[74]  John Bowlby,et al.  Attachment and Loss. Vol. I. Attachment. , 1970 .

[75]  P. Lockwood,et al.  For better and for worse: everyday social comparisons between romantic partners. , 2008, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[76]  Mark W. Baldwin,et al.  Relational schemas and the processing of social information. , 1992 .

[77]  J. Bowlby Attachment and loss: retrospect and prospect. , 1969, The American journal of orthopsychiatry.

[78]  Paul A. M. Van Lange,et al.  INTERDEPENDENCE ,I NTERACTION, AND RELATIONSHIPS , 2002 .

[79]  J. Bargh,et al.  Automaticity of social behavior: direct effects of trait construct and stereotype-activation on action. , 1996, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[80]  J. G. Holmes,et al.  Putting the partner within reach: a dyadic perspective on felt security in close relationships. , 2005, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[81]  A. Dijksterhuis,et al.  A Theory of Unconscious Thought , 2006, Perspectives on psychological science : a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.

[82]  J. Bargh,et al.  Keeping One's Distance , 2008, Psychological science.

[83]  W. J. Jacobs,et al.  Self, friends, and lovers: structural relations among Beck Depression Inventory scores and perceived mate values. , 2003, Journal of affective disorders.

[84]  Stephen W. Raudenbush,et al.  A multivariate hierarchical model for studying psychological change within married couples. , 1995 .

[85]  T. Chartrand,et al.  Effects of Priming and Perception on Social Behavior and Goal Pursuit. , 2007 .

[86]  Diederik A. Stapel,et al.  Self-activation increases social comparison. , 2001, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[87]  D. J. Lee Society and the Adolescent Self-Image , 1969 .

[88]  Ruud Custers,et al.  The nonconscious cessation of goal pursuit: when goals and negative affect are coactivated. , 2007, Journal of personality and social psychology.

[89]  M. Clark,et al.  Why Aren't Indices of Relationship Costs Always Negatively Related to Indices of Relationship Quality? , 1998, Personality and social psychology review : an official journal of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc.

[90]  G. Macdonald,et al.  Family approval as a constraint in dependency regulation: Evidence from Australia and Indonesia , 2006 .

[91]  Lorne Campbell,et al.  Ideal Standards, the Self, and Flexibility of Ideals in Close Relationships , 2001 .